How To Be A Gentleman: A Ten Step Pointer for The Man of Today

Words by, Igee Okafor

Photography by, Christopher Hill

The behavior that comes with being a true gentleman is surpassing and uncomplicated. As men, we are incessantly minding ways for self improvement circling around nobility, courtesy and selflessness towards others and ourselves. Like a great Kingsman preaches, "Manners Maketh Man" and in today's world where social interaction is at its prime, the statement could not be more relevant. 

Through learning, self practice, careful group examination, and enduring words of wisdom from elders, I have established a thorough directive that is worth embracing and embodying. In everything you do, call the following to mind: 

1) Always Be Honest

Honesty is the best policy and it truly speaks volumes for people to be able to trust that. Be the kind of man who is bold enough to express his opinions and to admit when he is wrong. 

2) If you see something, say something

Always do your best to stray away from immoral practices than can affect you and others in an undesirable way. No matter what you do or how intense any situation might be, it is important to stand by the right thing with a very authoritative voice. 

3) Work Hard

Never complain. If there is anything you want to achieve, do not expect others to go after it for you. While it's okay to ask for help, it all falls on you to exhaust every opportunity you have to accomplish - no matter how difficult it may seem. 

4) Do Your Best To Hold Your Own at All Times

Be humble! The way you react to others is not a reflection of who they are but of who you are. Avoid physical fights, shouting matches and toxic conflict of all sorts. Being able to stay in charge of your natural instinctive state of mind goes a long way in the long run. 

5) Dress Well

When it comes to why dressing well matters, I like to refer to the popular quote by Tom Ford that reads, "Dressing well is a form of good manners". The key here is always being aware of the appropriate way to dress for certain occasions whether it's a company dinner, a date, or a polo match. Like my mother would always say, "There is a time and place for everything". Looking presentable shows respect for the people sharing in your experience. 

6) Have good etiquette

No one likes people who can't conduct themselves politely in public and in private. Always be attentive to your surroundings, and to people. Here are a few leads in that department: 

  • Try to minimize cursing                              
  • Hold doors
  • Practice good table manners                       
  • Drive carefully
  • Shake Hands                                             
  • Say please, and thank you
  • Always be on time

7) Always indulge in random acts of kindness, even when you're not asked to

Always aim to help or make people feel appreciated wherever you can. Send your loved ones flowers, pick up the dinner tab, make time to spend with people you care about or donate some of your old clothing to charity. You never know what might come out of it. 

8) Communicate Effectively

Listen! It's not all about you. A gentleman understands that pride is the demise of one's character. Making a conscious effort to analyze your feelings and that of others opens up a space for correct interpretation and understanding. Nothing is worse than making inauthentic presumptions. 

9) Always Be Thankful

Always pay attention to the result of making people feel valuable to you by thanking them when they do good deeds. It shows your appreciation for them. Looking at the bigger picture, always expressing gratitude for everything you're able to do and own in your life keeps you motivated and in check with your privilege. No complaints. 

10) Always Keep To Your Word

A gentleman doesn't have commitment issues. If you say you're going to do something, go all the way. 

Thank you for reading!